What a Difference a (Couple of) Day(s) Make(s)

On your average Wednesday evening, around 5 o'clock, I would be stuck behind the ever oppressive walls of my school. Thankful, I have this week off, so instead of looking longingly at the window (not out the window, because all the windows are covered), I'm sipping on some cappuccino at a coffee shop, and taking in the views of bustling rush-hour traffic as dusk descends upon Seoul. Quite nice, really.

Something has changed, I noticed it early yesterday afternoon. By all accounts I should have been in a foul mood. My friend, Mickayla, and I had unintentionally pulled an all-nighter on Monday. I say "unintentionally" because we tried to get a cab back from the bar at a somewhat reasonable hour. Instead, the vaunted Seoul Public Transit System let us down, and left us standing in a snowstorm for a half-an-hour before we came to the realization, "Hey, that bar over there is still open!" And so it was that we managed only a few, unfulfilling hours of sleep on Monday night or Tuesday morning, whichever you prefer. The following afternoon we made our way to Itaewon for some Indian curry, a well-known cure for hangovers. Mickayla, perhaps still a little drunk, asked our Indian waiter what makes curry so great for hangovers. His answer, "Very many spices!" Good enough for me.

Maybe it was the curry, maybe it was the diminished hangover, or maybe it was the sun poking its head through the clouds for the first time, but right then I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. What was this feeling? Freedom, perhaps? This was my second day off, and I was already without a care in the world. Mickayla was off to shop, so I popped back into the subway to make my way to Changdeokgung Palace, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which would no doubt be a sight to behold after last night's snow.

Despite missing out on an opportunity to see the "Secret Garden" tour, I was able to wander aimlessly around the Palace grounds and admire its elegance and quiet beauty. I've been to many of these palaces, and while Changdeokgung lacks the grandeur of the Forbidden City or Imperial Palace, in Beijing and Kyoto respectively, it has its own charm.

Most palaces are strictly built on a north-south axis, in an attempt to replicate Heaven on Earth (which is apparently on a north-south axis). However, this palace conforms to no axis of any kind, mostly due to its history. It was never supposed to be the seat of power for the royal family, but when the Japanese burned their main palace to the ground in 1592, Changdeokgung was tapped as a makeshift, and then, a permanent, home. Changdeokgung remained the main palace almost continuously until 1910 when Korea was "annexed" by the aforementioned Japanese. Under occupation, Korea's last emperor, Emperor Sunjong died here in 1926.

I had visited the palace about a month ago, but it didn't hold a candle to this trip. The combination of the low winter's sun, still wind, and fresh snowfall made the palace come alive. I took pictures, best I could, while continually being reminded of my photographic inadequacies by the amateur Korean photographers with very professional gear.

The one drawback to this palace, as opposed to ones I had seen in other Asian countries, was the lack of a truly immersive experience. There were very few vistas within the palace that didn't include skyscrapers and high-rise apartments rising in the background. Seoul is an amazing city, but it could certainly tone it down a notch at times.

I haven't the foggiest idea of how I'm going to spend the rest of this break. I might go down to Busan for New Year's, I might not. I'm due to host my first couchsurfer since arriving in Korea this weekend, so that will be nice. As for job prospects, I'm keeping my eyes open for the next great job, and my mind open to the benefits to my current less-than-great job. And for those concerned about Sydney, we got her tests back and the girl is doing fine: no tumor, no infection.

This will probably be my last post for the year, to bring my total to an even 50 since I started posting at the end of July. Not bad, not bad. So, by the Royal Decree of King Zach I, We hereby wish everyone in the Kingdom the happiest of New Years! Thank you all for your love and support over what was a turbulent, but ultimately successful 2010.

Top 5: Things I Want to Accomplish Before 30

So, y'all might have heard it's my birthday. I have very mixed feelings toward the day. I like its wonderful symmetrical nature: 12/21. It is a cosmically significant day--the winter solstice--the shortest day of the year for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, and the longest night. The bad? The weather is almost always cold and often nasty, and someone else's birthday seems to overshadow mine by many orders of magnitude. Also, the Mayans predicted the world would come to an end on my 30th birthday, so there's that. So, let's pretend for a second that all of the crazies are right and some ancient civilization knew more about our demise than we do, what do I want to accomplish in my last two years on Earth?

The Qualifications:

• Must be within reason. You won't see "Marry Heidi Klum" or "Win the Lottery" on this list.
• Non-career based. These are things that I want to accomplish as a person.

The List:

1. Travel to all 6 inhabited continents: I've been to 4, so I just have South America and Australia to go. 2 continents in 2 years? I really have no excuse with air travel and what-not.
2. Write a Book: Possible title, "Why My 30th Birthday Will Suck More than Yours." Or "I Hope the Mayans Stopped Counting out of Boredom."
3. Learn Korean: Forget the career and academic ramifications, I just want to know what the hell is going on! It also might help when I try to talk to some Korean girls. Which leads me to...
4. Meet a Girl: Just one would suffice.
5. Grab a Beer with the Crew*: That is, my high school crew, Renato and Brian. It would be nice if we could be in the same city, at the same time, between now and then.

*With apologies to Tony. If our crew were the Ghostbusters, he would have been Winston. (I would have been Venkman, Renato, Ray, and Brian would have been Egon.)

Of Doctors and Vets

Following my bitter disappointment on Thursday, I am happy to report that the sun did, in fact, rise. Well, I assume it did, behind the heavy cloud cover and snowfall. At least Sydney was excited about the snowfall. She stared out the window with concentration normally reserved for food. I took a deep breath and...promptly hacked up a lung. Sometimes The Fates won't let you have a breather, literally.

Thankfully, Korea has an excellent healthcare system, so without an appointment, I popped in my doctor's office at 9:05, and was out the door of the pharmacy downstairs by 9:15. Total cost? Under $5. I returned on Saturday for a follow-up appointment, and parted with an additional 3,700 won ($3.20).

However, I was not so fortunate when I took poor Syd to the vet. I first took her to a vet a couple of weeks back because I had noticed a small lump under the base of her tail. The woman who helped me thought it was an issue with her anal glands, which she quickly helped Sydney "express." But the problem persisted, so I took her to another doctor, this one (luckily) spoke a good deal of English and explained that the lump was either "from trauma" or "a tumor." She withdrew three syringes worth of blood, and gave her a few shots. Sydney was pretty good through the procedure. The vet didn't think it was a tumor because of her age, but is sending the blood to be tested anyway. Total cost? $81.

Still, not bad for a visit to the vet, there's no saying what I would have paid back in the States. I'm pretty confident that her "trauma" diagnosis is correct. With the swelling down, I could clearly feel a kink in her tail (or the nub that used to be her tail). I read online that dogs sometimes develop an abscess that must be drained when they break their tails. I looked right at her and said, "See, this is why Aussies aren't allowed to have tails."

Gutted

So, I thought I had been very close to landing a job in Daegu. I had a phone interview on Tuesday that went very well, and another in-person interview lined up for Sunday afternoon. After my contact e-mailed me yesterday with directions, I received another one today titled, "Change of Plans." I knew before I even opened up the e-mail, but I read it anyway:

Thank you so much for the time you have put into the application process and your willingness to interview in Daegu. After careful consideration and review, we have decided to pursue other candidates
that more closely meet our needs. Although your skills and experience appear strong, they are not quite what we need to fill the position.

We appreciate your interest in MoonKkang and we wish you the best of luck in your professional pursuits.

I think that's all you need to know. This feels almost exactly the way I felt after not getting the Nashville Teaching Fellows job. I saw a great job, with great prospects for my future, made it far along the hiring process, but not far enough to matter. It's that horrible, empty feeling that you get when you finish just outside of the money in a poker tournament. Played well, but came up short, and ultimately, have nothing to show for it. And I can't help but think, I'm in the same place as I was before I tried at all. I'm not sure what happened between Wednesday and Thursday, and part of me doesn't care. I know not to take it personally, but it's difficult not to.

Worse yet, I'm stranded at school, with no breaks, nowhere to go and clear my head. That is, other than escaping into my own words, as a writer does. Well, as a writer without a writing gig, anyway. This hurts, and my brain has been swimming with ideas as to my next step. If one thing has become obvious during this foray into the Korean job market, I'm not going to be happy until I find a job that is better suited to my strengths and lifestyle. My current job is not it, so I'll keep plugging away until I find want I need. Well, plugging away after a couple of rounds of scotch tonight.

Top 5: Methods for Time Travel

Who wouldn't want a chance to travel through time? Whether you're revisiting the past, fixing mistakes, or just going to see what it was or will be like, it seems like a great time. Unfortunately, science hasn't quite gotten us to that point, but that simple things like "facts" have never stopped Hollywood from making a buck on our wildest fantasies.

The Qualifications:

• The device must be made in a movie. I'm not interested in your theoretical gadgets, and blah, blah, blah technical words.
• Listed in order from best to worst.

The List:

1. DMC Delorean (from Back to the Future) The Pros: To quote Doc, "The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?" Well said. In addition to its sleek design, you only have to get moving to a relatively modest 88 mph. I'm also fairly certain Huey Lewis and The News was in the tape deck. The Cons: Not very useful unless you happen to have some plutonium sitting around (or an impossibly well-timed lightning bolt). Oh, and you may have to make out with your mother in order to assure your own future existence.
2. Hot Tub (from Hot Tub Time Machine) The Pros: Sure, the tub in question only takes you to one place, a ski lodge in 1986, but could you reasonably ask for a better place to go? Also, this time machine didn't seem too concerned about paradoxes, so feel free to stay behind and build your empire, as the inventor of google, or whatever you end up calling it. The Cons: The only band playing that night was Poison and you have to be the same age you were in 1986. If you haven't been born yet, no problem, but I would be stuck in my 3-year-old body.
3. U.S.S. Enterprise (from Star Trek IV and Star Trek: First Contact) The Pros: You're on a freakin' interstellar spaceship. The Cons: They never seem to time travel just for the hell of it (that's what the holodeck is for). They're always having to fight to save the whales or fight The Borg.
4. Phone Booth (from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure) The Pros: George Carlin. The Cons: Getting stuck with these guys:
5. Time Displacement Bubble (from The Terminator) The Pros: You are no longer trapped in a dystopian hell-scape dominated by cyborgs bent on your demise and forced to masturbate quietly to your one prized possession: an old, beat up photo of a pregnant Sarah Connor. And you inadvertently sire the savior of humanity while actually sleeping with Sarah Connor. The Cons: First off, time travel looks rather painful for us non-cybernetic organisms. When you stop rolling around in agony, you realize you're naked, have no money, and there is still a cyborg bent on your demise (and worse yet, he succeeds).

I would so see this movie:

A Lesson in Education

I read an interesting opinion piece on CNN today, "The U.S. must start learning from Asia." For many years, Asian companies--first in Japan, then Korea, and now China and others--have been accused of "reinventing the wheel" when it comes to exports and manufacturing. Or, to paraphrase Dave Barry, "Japan makes the same products we do, only better." Slowly but surely, Asia has been repeating this same process within the educational field. While it's no secret that Asian students have surpassed their American counterparts in most categories, their institutions are slowly catching up as well.

In education, Asian nations have learned from the U.S., improved upon it to make it more efficient and produce consistently better results, and now, the U.S. must learn from Asia. In essence, the teacher has become the student.

Clearly this is an oversimplification, and furthermore, I do not agree with this assessment completely. The U.S. faces widespread, institutional and cultural issues that Japan, Korea, and China do not. Furthermore, there are still areas in which American students excel. For those of you who read my work on the Japanese educational system from three years ago, you might remember this passage:

At most public schools in America, the societal core values are manifested by giving students the freedom (within a limit) to choose their clothes and lunches. Americans see choice and individuality as core values and this is expressed through the school system. In keeping within the Japanese social paradigm, the Japanese school system is notorious for using an antiquated “teach the test” formula with an extremely low reliance on critical and analytical thinking. Teachers stand in front of the class and pound the facts and the students write down, repeat, and memorize these facts.

My return to an Asian school system has not softened these views, but there are lessons that we can learn and apply to produce better results in the American educational field.

Most importantly, we must change the culture of how education is viewed in America. There are sizable portions of the American public who sees education as a negative. To become educated or go to the best schools is seen as "selling out" in some cases, or "elitist" in others. President Obama has talked about extending the school year; while this might be good for those who stay in school, it does nothing for the nearly one-third of teenagers who drop out of high school before they graduate.

At its core, the "American Dream" of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps necessitates two things: ease of upward mobility, and the ability to outwit or out-maneuver your competition. While education is not 100% vital to either, and there are many examples of high school and college dropouts becoming successful business owners, clearly it is helpful in achieving both goals. As time progresses, and we become further removed from the "real" threats of global fascism or communism, we face a bigger threat--our own complacency.

There is an enthusiasm gap between Americans and Asians (and more importantly, Asian parents). Asian parents understand that education is necessary, not just to pull themselves out of poverty, but to continue to thrive in a continually more complex globalized society. Let's consider my current occupation for a moment. I was hired by a private school, flown to Korea on their dime, to teach Korean kids in English. My afternoon students go to school during the day full-time at a Korean school, then come here for between 6-10 extra classes a week to learn more. Can you imagine a whole array of Korean private schools in America that parents pay thousands of dollars to immerse their kids for 12-20 extra hours of school each week? (or for that matter, any language)? No, I can't either. Yet, here, the parents do not only send their kids to one or two additional private schools per week, it's expected.

I must admit, as impressive as their dedication is, it is probably overkill and I genuinely feel sorry for some of these kids for being overworked. I also strongly disagree with the amount of emphasis put on testing from a very early age. When you study for the test and only the test, it cuts out independent thinking, an area in which American children still score very highly. Regardless, my point isn't so much that an enthusiasm gap exists, but that a massive enthusiasm gap exists.

A co-worker frequently likes to remind me that we are training our replacements. Sadly, this seems to be the case. With America and the West on their current trajectories, and the East on theirs, I wonder when and if it will be practical to return home. I'm enjoying it while I can, as Grandpa Duke likes to say, "The last of the dinosaurs eats well."

Please Fasten Your Seatbelt...

...we are expecting some mild turbulence ahead.

Been awhile since my last real update, so here we go.

Suddenly, job security has become iffy around these parts. In addition to moving to a new school, we're losing at least 100 students (out of about 600). I also got some "insider" information that the school's open house to recruit new students "went really bad." This info came about from a rather intoxicated co-worker who was there that day. Naturally, the preceding statement was, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but..." Two of my coworkers, both near the end of their respective contracts, had their hours and pay cut back to the tune of about $700 a month, in an attempt to save some money.

Well, I'm planning on being here for at least two years, so I'm not going to let my life goals be sidetracked or temporarily derailed by circumstances beyond my control. Inasmuch as I can help it, that is. I figure as long as North Korea keeps their troops and weaponry on the other side of the DMZ (or NLL, Northern Limitation Line), I should be OK, but I have to get out ahead of this and do what's best for me. As the days roll on, I'm doing my best just to work hard and keep up with each and every deadline that I come across, stay off the radar, survive and advance.

In other news, it's December in Korea and even on the other side of the world, I can't escape Christmas. I have at least three good reasons for my general "Bah humbug" philosophy to the holiday:

1. I believe my birthday to be infinitely more important than Jesus's.
2. Natural jealously from being born Jewish. Christmas is pretty much way better than any Jewish holiday, and you are even allowed to eat ham at the meal.
3. I worked in retail for 7 years.
4. And finally, the holiday has gotten out of control. It's a good thing there is a "War on Christmas" because pretty soon Santa will be backing his fat ass back into Labor Day.
   

Hmm, one more reason and I'll have a nifty little "Top 5" list. I'm sure I can think of another reason. That said, I'll be attending Santacon 2011, which is a bar crawl in Seoul, to be completed dressed as, you guessed it, Santa. I figure that getting tanked while dressed as Santa is probably subversive enough to offset my hatred of the big guy.

For any and all interested, I've also begun a new blog: Dooley-isms. It's a good way to continue my Vol-obsession without devoting a whole lot of time to it. For those of you who are unaware, Tennessee's new football coach, Derek Dooley, is more or less a genius. He's good for an average of one or two comedic gems every single time he sits down for a press conference or interview, and this is my attempt to catalog the best of the best. Since starting this blog, several other blogs, and my former college employer, The Daily Beacon, have issued their own versions of Dooley-isms. The interwebs work fast, and while I have no way of knowing whether they were inspired by me directly, it does seem mighty coincidental.

World Cup Bids

This is an elaboration on a rant I started on Facebook:

Bullshit. Russia and Qatar were the least deserving of the tournament for a variety of reasons.

Lets start with the 2018 group:

• England: Invented the game and has the most popular domestic league in the world. They have all the necessary infrastructure ready to go, and a rabid fanbase.
• Spain/Portugal: Both traditional football powerhouses. Spain is also home to one of the best domestic leagues in the world, and who wouldn't want to spend a month in summer on the Iberian Peninsula watching football?
• Netherlands/Belgium: Netherlands is the best nation to have never won a World Cup and has never hosted. To add insult to injury, two of their three runner-ups were essentially road games to Germany in '74 and Argentina in '78. Belgium doesn't really add much to this ticket (in fact, it probably did more harm than good), but they've had a World Cup co-hosted before, so it couldn't have been that problematic.
• Russia: Didn't qualify for this year's World Cup after being eliminated by Slovenia, and lacks pretty much all of the major infrastructure provided in the other three bids. And if you think you're depressed now, just wait until you're in Russia when your team loses.

And 2022:

• USA: Sport has ballooned in popularity since 1994, and would offer FIFA the most ticket sales and return on investment of any country. North America still offers a huge area of growth for the sport, with many Central American and Caribbean nations focused mainly on baseball.
• Australia: No one loves sports like the Aussies, it would have been a great host.
• Korea and Japan: Both probably hosted too recently to really deserve a fair shake, but of all the Asian nations, these are easily the most deserving (and both have no difficulty qualifying).
• Qatar: Has never QUALIFIED for a World Cup (and now gets an automatic bid), smallest nation ever to host, and currently ranked #118 in the world (As a reference North Korea was ranked in the 70s when they were trounced 7-0 by Portugal in this year's tourney). Oh, and it's going to be hot enough to fry an egg on the hood of a car. Allegedly they'll have air conditioned stadiums, but what are you going to do between the hotel and the stadium. You know, besides trying to prevent heat stroke and instantaneous combustion.

...OK, end of rant.

Top 5: UT Memories

Well, the regular season has come to a close for my beloved Volunteers. Needless to say, it was a tough one, but we knew it would be as soon as That Last Guy ditched in the middle of the night (and worse, at the end of recruiting season). Aside from a highly entertaining year, he also provided us with a few good memories, and hey, we're going bowling! Anyway, looking back at my UT fandom, I've decided to write out my favorite memories.

The Qualifications

• Memory must be after I started at UT: I love Peyton Manning as much, if not more, than the next guy, and the 1998 National Championship season was an awesome ride, but my love really begins when I enrolled at UT in 2001.


• Athletic competition: Obviously. I'm not going to bore you with details of how cool my History of Rock class was, or how awesome it was to study dinosaurs for a semester. At least not on this list.

The List

1. LSU at Tennessee, 2001: This was my freshman year of college. I had been living at the dorms for less than three weeks when some crazy bastards decided it would be a good idea to hijack planes and fly them into buildings in New York and Washington D.C. The next game, Florida, was postponed to the end of the regular season. Football would not return for nearly two weeks, and when it did, we had two undefeated, Top 15 teams facing off for a night game at Neyland Stadium. The atmosphere was electric, and more than one person in the stands had tears in their eyes after the "Star Spangled Banner." In addition, it was a tense, hard fought game, with UT ultimate prevailing. LSU would get the best of us later in the season, costing us our last real shot at a national title under Fulmer, and of course, costing us the first of two SEC championships. However, no one can take away that night, it was something else.
2. Bruce Ball Arrives, 2005: There was really no specific game to point to here. When he was first hired, I remember thinking, "Great, another coach from a mid-major school," and boy was I proven wrong. In the fall of 2005, the Vols football team went into the season ranked #3 in the nation, and ended it by completing their first losing season in 17 years. Over winter break, the Vols won on the road, at #7 Texas, which turned some heads, but many of us just saw it as a bit of an anomaly. However, this team just kept winning games, taking the same 5 starters that went 5-11 in conference to a 12-4 record, with two wins over eventual National Champions, Florida. In his first five seasons, Pearl has taken UT to three Sweet 16 appearances, and the school's first Elite 8 appearance last year. You can say whatever you want to about him as a person, but the man can coach.
   
3. Beating Florida, 2001: As previously mentioned, the Florida game, normally scheduled for middle September was postponed to the end of the season. Vol fans had bemoaned for years that this game was far too early in our schedule (as Fulmer's best work usually happened at the end of the season, though this could be as a result of drawing Vandy and Kentucky to end the season), and here was our chance to prove it. Both teams were ranked in the Top 4, and the dorms were going NUTS with every big hit and every big play. We won in Gainesville for the first time in nearly 30 years, and secured a trip to the SEC Championship Game the next week.
   
4. Outback Bowl, 2008: I love bowl games. Unfortunately, my post season record as a fan (when I was in attendance) was 0-4. This game had heightened circumstances, seeing as a significant portion of my family, both parents included, had attended The University of Wisconsin, our opponent. As a birthday present, my dad bought tickets for my friend and I to go. As his own practical joke, he must have thought it funny to get tickets in the middle of the UW section. All the same, me and my buddy Rhett cheered and sang "Rocky Top" as loudly as possible. We won, and I had the family bragging rights.
   
5. 6-6, 2010: I always hate it when a list puts a recent event really high. Well, I guess sometimes I have to make an exception. Last weekend, Tennessee continued their 26-game winning streak over Kentucky to become bowl eligible. This is a small miracle considering we were 2-6 a month ago. Now I can officially say that I'm looking forward to seeing what Coach Dooley can do. Our freshman QB, Tyler Bray, has blown us away with his ability, and I think this team could be a threat to compete for the SEC in a couple of years. It's nice to be trending up!
   

Chaos Revisited

Turns out, I have strong circumstantial evidence that North Korean officials read my blog. Before I get started, thank you for reading. As you may recall, I stated previously that North Korea is part Dr. Evil, part Wille E. Coyote; that is, possessing desires for world domination, and matched with an inability to do anything about them. And just last night I wrote:

...there is that crazy little bastard of a neighbor up north, who, at any given moment could decide to provoke a war.

Better yet, I listed it as a positive for South Korea. A little bit of unpredictability to spice up your life! So, it seems that the North Korean brass read my post, and thought, "Yeah, we'll show this little smart ass" (though it was probably the Korean equivalent), and they went ahead and did this:


OK, North Korea, you have my attention. This was, more or less, the largest exchange of firepower between the two countries since the signing of the armistice agreement in 1953. North Korea fired over 200 artillery shells at the South Korean island of Yeonpyeong while South Korean and US troops were performing military exercises. Two soldiers (both South Korean) died in the attack, which leads me to believe that North Koreans have terrible aim. I shouldn't make light of any soldier's death, but seriously, two hundred shells for two lives and fewer than twenty injuries? That's the best you can do? I guess artillery is not included with horseshoes and hand grenades in objects where being close counts.

There has been a lot of speculation as to the meaning of these attacks. First of all, it is only about 6 months after the sinking of the Cheonan, a South Korean warship, that cost about 40 sailors their lives. Secondly, it has only been six weeks since Kim Jong Il named his son as his successor. Is this the last hurrah of a dying despot? Or the emergence of a new breed of crazy in his son? Most experts are leaning toward the former, but the escalation in activity this year begs many questions.

South Korea, for their part, are more or less stuck between a rock and hard place. Any escalation with North Korea could get out of control very quickly, cause the won to quickly drop in value, and be extremely costly to their long-term economic growth. Oh, and the North Koreans have nukes. That said, they can't just sit back and wait for North Korea to attack again on a whim.

The locals don't seem terribly concerned about it, and well, when in Seoul, do as the Seoulites do. The subway ride home was almost surreal, a war nearly broke out less than 150 miles away, and everyone was on their cell phones, playing video games and relaxing after a long day of work. TVs were on in every restaurant I passed, but they were not tuned to the news networks, they were watching the South Korea-UAE soccer match.

I think there's a lesson here for Americans, who, it must be noted, often panic over much smaller threats than nuclear annihilation. As such, I will stand by my original assessment of why a little chaos does a country good. Real threats make small, every day annoyances and concerns appear to be precisely that: small. In a strange way, today was the best day I've had in awhile.

Top 5: Reasons Why Korea is Better than Japan

Of the 200 or so pages from the JET Handbook, the part I remember most distinctly was the section on how culture shock affects the average JET participant. It even had a nifty little chart so you could follow your excitement or depression. Right now, I would be in the "Negotiation Phase" of culture shock, which Wikipedia describes as:

After some time (usually three months but it may be sooner or later depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. That sense of excitement will eventually give way to new and unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as you continue to have unfavorable encounters that strike you as strange, offensive, and unacceptable. These reactions [...] are typically centered on the formidable language barrier as well as stark differences in: public hygiene; traffic safety; the type and quality of the food [...].[4] It's a very hard period for the people who need to adjust to a new culture, especially for those students who study abroad alone without families. In this period, people might feel that their lifestyle is totally influenced. Their biological clock is in a mess because of the time difference, they can't work well and can't rest well either. In addition, they might feel sick and lazy; they might get tired doing anything no matter how easy it is.

Yeah, that's about right. Add crummy weather and shorter days in there, and it's even more appropriate. However, I have experience and knowledge on my side. So, in an attempt to stay positive, here's my Top 5 Reasons Why Korea is Better than Japan.

Qualifications:

• The reason must impact my life directly.
• This is a general list, nothing to do with my personal life or work situation.
  

The List:

1. Better Food: The Japanese might describe their food as "subtle," to my American palate, which isn't happy unless I'm adding extra barbecue sauce to my twice-fried, chocolate-covered Twinkies, "bland" is probably the better word. The Korean dinning experience is a fantastic feast of spicy, but not too spicy, dishes, brought out in rapid fashion in an attempt to overflow the table with tasty goodness. Great...and now I want some bulgogi.
2. Fewer Dirty Stares: It's much more comfortable to be a foreigner here. One might think that this is due to being in a much larger, much more metropolitan city, but I've actually experienced better treatment in other cities outside of Seoul.
   
3. Weiguk>Gaijin: This sort of goes hand-in-hand with the last one, but weiguk just doesn't have the same "punch" as gaijin. And Koreans usually have respect enough not to say it directly in front of you. It seems like I'm given much more leeway to be foreign here too, whereas I always felt like I was offending someone or about to in Japan.
4. Better Looking Women: Korea is #1 in the world in elective plastic surgeries per capita. And it shows.
5. Chaos Factor: One reason Japan always made me feel so uncomfortable was due to its pristine condition. Everything was neat, orderly, and clean. No one broke the law, even as far as jaywalking. Heck, even ambulances "rushing" to the hospital would go the speed limit. On the other hand, I've always felt that Korea had a certain "vibrancy" to its streets and back alleys. You can grab some delicious street food, and then jaywalk in front of a cop.* Furthermore, there is that crazy little bastard of a neighbor up north, who, at any given moment could decide to provoke a war. Some would argue that this last point detracts from my argument, but I like it. Safety is an illusion anyway, and it adds a little spice to life knowing that you're not completely safe.**
   

*This, on the other hand, could never happen in Japan. First of all, there was a tragic lack of street vendors. Secondly, the combination of eating while walking (major no-no) AND jaywalking would probably make the average Japanese citizen's head explode.

**For the record, I'm probably a good deal safer here than in any American city. At least here I know where the threat is coming from.

The Dentist and Other Horrors

I went to the dentist for the first time since I lived in Japan. That's over three years at this point, for those keeping score at home. Unfortunely, I had the most painful teeth cleaning experience of my life, with an extremely polite, albeit sadistic, Korean woman doing the honors. My screams of terror and pain were punctuated only by her sweet voice repeatedly saying, "Oh, I'm sorry." I couldn't see the gleam of delight in her eye, but I know it was there.

On the other hand, I will not have to go in for a root canal, as I had feared, but I will have to return to have three cavities filled. Joy. I had suspected I would need a root canal on a tooth that had been worked on while I was in Japan. The cavity filling was performed without Novocaine, with the Japanese dentist telling me in broken English, "Raise your hand when it hurts." It has never really felt right since, so I feared the worst. Turns out, this was just my own paranoia, and there is nothing wrong with the tooth. I do have a cavity on the tooth directly above, so it might just be displaced pain, which I remember very well from having "dry sockets" when I had my wisdom teeth removed.

In spite of all of this, it is nice to be able to afford such procedures. For most of my time between Japan and Korea, I could not.

In the last three months, I have also struggled to find a decent place to get my hair cut. My hair is very demanding, and needs to be cut very short to avoid the dreaded Jewfro. This has been a struggle my entire life, even back home. I actually found a great place to cut my hair in Japan, well, at least for the first 10 months. Then, inexplicably, the man who normally cut my hair was absent that day, and he was replaced by a rather mean-spirited woman. She had a nasty attitude the entire time, and when she was appearing to finish up without giving the sides and back of my hair the clipper treatment they so desperately needed, I asked her in my best polite Japanese if she could possibly use them. She was resilient at first that I did not need the clippers. I persisted and basically refused to get up until she gave in. Finally, she relented, bitching the entire time about me and at one point even screaming in my ear that I was acting like a child. Needless to say, I never returned to that place again.

I've not had any experience approaching that one yet, but I've left the salon both times so far with a feeling of disappointment; not because they didn't do a good job, they did, but because I knew that within a week, my hair would be back to Jewfro length and I would have to be back in the barber's chair shortly. Quite frankly, I have neither the time nor inclination to be getting a haircut every 2-3 weeks, so hopefully I'll figure out a better way to convey to them precisely what I want. And yes, I am due for another sheering momentarily.

Blast from the Past: The China Chronicles Part 2

Preemptive editors note: This article? Complete crap. This is the second column I wrote in the summer of 2005 for The Daily Beacon. Read it at your own risk, and keep in mind I was fighting a nasty sinus infection and on Chinese antibiotics (really).

Mountains are, by their nature, difficult to hide. Amazingly, this is precisely what Beijing has been able to do to me for the past…oh…week and a half. You see, there is a rather large mountain range rising majestically behind the university to the north, however the dust, smog and general pollution has caused them to simply vanish leaving yours truly completely unaware of their mere existence until yesterday.

Needless to say, the air here is bad. I’ll certainly think twice before complaining about the pollution in Knox-patch (again). On top of the exceptionally bad air, it is hot-very hot.The first day after arriving, I decided to hit up the Beijing Zoo as pandas are decidedly adorable. So I headed out and the heat and humidity consumed me-the high that day was 41 degrees Celsius, or roughly 1,000,000 degrees Fahrenheit (give or take).

I’ve certainly had to readjust my definition of “dirty.” After taking multiple showers on the most taxing days, I’ll come home after a “normal day” completely drenched in sweat and think to myself, “eh…not too bad.”

Despite all of this, the trip has been amazing thus far. Beijing is an amazing city. There is always, ALWAYS something to do here. You can visit “old China” at the Forbidden City and Summer Palace or you can visit “new China” for some drinks at a club. And there’s always Karaoke. The Chinese love their Karaoke. As our first week at Tsinghua has taught us, they love singing in general. The first thing we’ve had to do at the university is to overlook a campus-wide singing contest. They’re doing it to learn English and doing it with more zeal and pure joy than any group of college-aged Americans would be expected to. Of course, if you told the entire sophomore class at UT to learn and perform a song in Mandarin in a week, you would probably be told to do something anatomically impossible by most of the students. Unless UT just scored a touchdown, and the song happens to be “Rocky Top,” we ain’t singin’ anythin’.

Speaking of that delightful albeit not-to-flattering song, guess which one us folk from UT performed? That’s right, we got up there with fellow Knoxvillian and local music legend Todd Steed and sang “Rocky Top” with pride, emotion, and most importantly-completely out of tune.

However, “Rocky Top” was perhaps the best song performed in the competition. After that it was Michael Jackson’s “Heal the World” and the rest getting far cheesier from there. Granted, I know that these students do not have full access to many popular songs in the west-but seriously, “Heal the World?” Come on…
So I guess the Karaoke stereotype is at least partially true. Although the biggest misconception about China still remains, namely that it is a communist country. The only thing communist about China anymore is the party in charge. But the party doesn’t even believe in the principles set forth by Marx, Lenin or Mao. The Chinese love capitalism.

Don’t believe me? Trust me, they’ve taken capitalism to the extreme. During this trip I have been charged to park my bike, charged to use (disposable) chopsticks that they gave us at a restaurant, and charged to use a public toilet. And these are not even the big things. I paid to leave flowers for Chairman Mao at his mausoleum (only to have them returned to be resold out front), then I left his tomb to enter a market where you can by all the Mao memorabilia my little heart desired.

I paid to climb the tower that Mao used to use to overlook Tiananmen Square. I was curious at first why I could not bring my camera only to find a man standing at the top taking pictures which I could buy for twice as much as I paid to get up there in the first place. I bought one…

When I went to the Great Wall the bus dropped us off no where near the wall so we had an option of either walking up a cliff or taking a cable car. We took the cable car to find that it only brought us about half-way up the hillside. Amazingly enough they had an incline train that we could ride once we got there. Weird. Of course, the train didn’t even take us all the way up to the Great Wall and I was half expecting a man trying to sell us camel rides for the rest of the journey.

Top 5: Side 1, Track 1

So, I could not in good faith start a series of "Top 5s" without paying omage to the movie (and to a far lesser extent, the book) that inspired me, High Fidelity. For those of you unaware, John Cusack's character, Rob, often likes to categorize life into tidy Top 5 lists. Anyone who has attempted their own lists, has inevitably come to the conclusion that the list is never tidy, and never complete.

However, it is a fun exercise, and it does reflect how you are feeling at any given moment. Some lists are ever-changing; they are a day-to-day evolution, with no true final answer. For instance, while my Top 3 favorite movies rarely ever change, 4 and 5 frequently do.

Qualifications:

• The song must be the first from a full-length LP. This means no EPs, singles, second-side first tracks, or first tracks from the second disk from a double LP.


• The song should make you excited to listen to the rest of the album, so it can't just be a great song on an otherwise crap album. Basically, you shouldn't want to put the album away, after listening to a very distinct high point, right at the beginning. (This is the "don't climax too quickly rule").

The List

1. "One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces" Whatever and Ever, Amen, Ben Folds Five: When I first bought this album in high school, this was immediately one of my favorite tracks. In fact, it was one of only a few tracks I really enjoyed upon first listen. However, years later, it remains one of my favorite tracks by Ben Folds and Whatever and Ever, Amen is easily my favorite album of either Ben Folds Five, or Ben Folds. Over the course of several years, the other tracks found their way into my heart, one-by-one, but they never replaced my first love off the album.
   


2. "Safe European Home" Give 'em Enough Rope, The Clash: In High Fidelity, rob lists "Janie Jones" from the Clash's debut album in his Top 5 Side 1s Track 1s. However, I always thought their follow-up album, Give 'em Enough Rope was a much better listen, albeit, not as "ground-breaking" or influential. It's not my favorite Clash album, but I think it's way underrated, and I love this first track. "Safe European Home" is a powerful number to kick off an equally powerful album. The incorporation of fast-paced ska and reggae rhythms were a signature for the group throughout their career, and especially so on this track.


3. "Stacked Actors" There is Nothing Left to Lose, Foo Fighters: To paraphrase those mildly-amusing Dos XX ads, "I don't often listen to the Foo Fighers, but when I do, it's this album." There are very few weak points on this album, which makes "Stacked Actors" that much better. Or rather, it's one of the best songs on their best album. The song starts off pretty hard, but it's just a tease, as it continually takes you through fast paced peaks, and slow, melodic lows.


4. "Next to You" Outlandos d' Amour, The Police: Like the aforementioned Clash, The Police started as a punk band and ended their careers as much, much more. Unlike the Clash, their debut is not so much seen as their masterpiece as much as it is "just another album." Once again, I strongly disagree with the critics, and enjoy hearing the beginning stages of their musical evolution from punk-band to 80s pop-rock icons. "Next to You" is one of their fastest paced songs, and a real ass-kicker. While the album itself has some gapping holes (most of Side 2, for instance), it also has some great tracks, including "Roxanne," a song that barely cracked the Top 40, but has become one of the band's most recognizable hits.


5. "Jacqueline" Franz Ferdinand, Franz Ferdinand: While their big hit, "Take Me Out," may never be replicated by the band, Jacqueline is the epitome of what Franz Ferdinand is about. It's sexy, seductive, playful, and at the end of the day, rocks your socks off.
   

November, in all its Glory

So, it's been awhile since my last post, and not out of laziness or lack of anything to talk about. In fact, two weeks ago today I sat down and wrote a blog entry that I never posted for a variety of reasons. 1) I learned from my Japan experience not to just go nuclear over something upsetting, particularly in a very public way that can concern parents and other family and friend-types. 2) Due to various issues at work (which I will discuss in great detail, shortly), I was either too busy or too preoccupied to sit down and write.

The big news that sent all of us teachers into hyperventilation, mass-panic, and never-ending behind-the-back complaining about the management, was a move of our campus to a new location. It will be more than twice the distance to commute for us, and there are no restaurants or banks around the new location.

Those are three pretty big hits considering how: we already work 10 and a half hours each day, the school lunches are usually inedible, and we need to go to the bank several times during the month to pay bills and send money home.

The only positive to off-set losing these ammenities will be teaching slightly nicer environment.

As a result, I think I will try to get into the R&D department at our school. They are remaining in their current location--the building where the school is currently located--and they work shorter days. This would be great for me for several reasons, including being able to study Korean more, and spend more time with the pup.

I'll let you know how this situation continues to develop.

As for everything else, we were hit with a hell of a week last week. Normally, if we have report cards due, it's considered a "busy week." But last week, we had report cards, grading monthly test essays, and an open class to prepare for. Open classes are where the parents are invited to watch what we do in the classroom, which is needless to say, stressful. As an extra joy, one of our teachers is currently in a hospital with a broken jaw, so I was selected to do the open class for her. Despite all of this, I was one of two teachers to get my grades in on time, so gold star for me.

Well, I guess that brings you up to date. It's November now: the days are getting shorter, the weather is getting colder, the initial excitment of being here has worn off, but my mood has not been too bad. The JET handbook talks about October and November being the worst months for culture shock, so I guess I'm doing OK. That said, send love, keep in touch, etc.

Japan, Korean Style

One of the truly great and under-appreciated aspects of dog ownership is the ability to become extremely well-versed in the local landscape through routine walks. While out with Sydney, I frequently passed a Japanese restaurant that looked quite lovely from the outside, and I had always wanted to give it a try. Tonight was the night to take that dive.

Although I was no fan of Japanese cuisine while living there--the food could generally be described as "bland" to many observers--I do every now and again have a hankerin' for it. Korean food is fantastic, but every now and again I would like to get a meal without a copious helping of kimchi.

I walked in the door and after some confusion, I was sat at the sushi bar. I started thumbing through the menu (all of which was in Korean) and was doing my best to sound out the characters to see if there were any dishes I recognized. Here, it must be noted that I've found I know much more Japanese than I would have previously given myself credit for, insofar as I keep trying to think in Korean, only to have its Japanese counterpart pop into my head. However, before I could decipher my first dish, a waiter came up, pointed to an item on the menu, and seemed quite insistent that I take that dish. So, what the hell, I said "OK" and awaited the meal of mystery that was to come. It was 30,000 won ($26), which was a tad north of what I wanted to spend, but it's Friday and I thought I deserved a treat.

I waited around for a few minutes in uncomfortable silence, but when the food started arriving, wow, did it arrive! Obviously this was a Korean-owned Japanese restaurant, because only in Korea do the heap food at you with this sort of ferocity. They started me off with a small salad and some rice porridge. Before I had even had a chance to dig in, they gave me a small platter of sashimi, along with some sort of egg custard, creamed corn, sauteed onions, and tempura potatoes and shrimp. This seemed to be an "all you can eat" sashimi special too, because the chef kept gladly refilling my sashimi platter every time it got even a tad low. I came to the realization that I had to eat as much of this as humanly possible, as this was becoming a test on my manhood.

I ate and ate and ate and every time I began to slow down, boom, there was more food at my disposal. Finally, I managed to clear my sashimi platter and for the first time the chef asked if I wanted more. I took this to mean that I had won the challenge, and politely refused. I paid, thanked the chef, and went on my way with a very full stomach and a great new memory.

Busan: A Series of Fortunate Events

As of Wednesday I will have been offically living in Korea for two months. Apart from my day trip to the DMZ (which is really only marginally outside of Seoul), I've not left the city at all. So I needed to get out, if only for my mental well-being.

My first break came a couple of weeks ago when I met an American girl, Clara, who lives in my building and fell in love with my dog at first sight. She immediately offered to watch her and/or walk her if I ever needed, and so I decided to hit her up on that offer as soon as possible.

I had been talking about going to Busan, the second largest city in Korea, even before leaving the U.S., to visit my friend and fellow UT alum, Mickayla. A fireworks festival coincided with this weekend, so the timing seemed perfect. My first experience with South Korea was in Busan, when I took the ferry over from Fukuoka, Japan three and a half years ago. I loved it then and had no doubt I would love it again.

I left Seoul in the early afternoon on the KTX, Korea's express bullet train. On my previous trips between Busan and Seoul, I had taken the slow train, and I must say this was a marked improvement over both the slow train and the shinkansen, or Japanese bullet train. When I arrived at Seoul Station, a beautiful, long, tall, glass-enclosed structure, I saw 3 KTX trains leaving for Busan in the next hour. I walked up to the ticket counter to buy a ticket and was given the following options, "1 o'clock train, standing or 1:30 train seat?" Um, a seat please. Well worth the extra 30 minutes and however much extra won they charged.

The train itself was smaller than the shinkansen, 4 seats across as opposed to 6, and had a dark, cozy feel to it. The interior was nice, with the seats consisting of a dark green upholstery. It wasn't long after the train started smoothly rolling down the tracks that I found myself in a deep, comfortable, nap. The ride couldn't have been smoother, and you never really got a sense of the speed of the train. The countryside of Korea is beautiful in a homely way. It doesn't overpower your senses with impossibly tall mountains, it doesn't take your breath away with incredible old-growth forests or raging rivers. However, its rolling hills and intermittent towns and farms provide a lovely, relaxing backdrop, which had it's own mesmerizing affect on me.

My arrival in Busan was like stepping into some sort of surreal sitcom situation where it's perfectly ordinary to run into everyone you've ever met while on vacation. Due to the fireworks festival, the city was alive and the subway was packed; despite this, I ran into one of the handful of Koreans that I knew socially, Ho Im. It was like finding a needle in a stack of needles, and yet there she was, waving at me on the Busan Station subway platform. We shared an incredibly packed train to Haeundae Beach.

In fact, "Incredibly packed" doesn't even begin to do our situation an justice. Every time the doors opened and we thought "There's no way anyone else can fit on here" miraculously, more people managed to pile in, squeezing out every single available molecule of air between us. It was one of the few moments when I both noticed how tall I am in this country, and was extremely thankful for that fact. The rarefied air, heads, and often shoulders above the masses was quite lovely in comparison to what I would have faced.

Once we arrived at Haeundae, Ho Im and I went our separate ways. She had her group of friends, and I was planning on meeting mine. I met up with Valerie and her friend for dinner and a quick wade in the ocean. After a few hours and half a dozen confusing phone calls, I finally met up with Mickayla shortly after the fireworks had subsided. It was great to see her, and her friends seemed really cool. Mickayla remarked how we have probably spent more time hanging out together in Asia, than in our home state of Tennessee. This fact is probably true.

Along the way I ran into Mark not once, but twice. Here's a guy I wanted to hang out with, but through all the texting and calling it seemed like it just wasn't in the cards. And then, miraculously, there he was in the street, drinking a beer and wearing a tee-shirt that read, "Hobosexual."

It was a bit of a downer not being able to drink that night. I was still getting over being sick last week, and I didn't want to risk a slide back into the realm of high fevers and phlegm. It's a strange experience not drinking at a bar or club. When ordering a coke, the bartender inevitably gives you a look like, "A coke and what?" Also, my senses were not dulled by the sweet embrace of a warm buzz, and everything seemed at once more vibrant, and more repugnant. I hope to not be sober inside a bar again for a long time.

We woke up the next morning, had brunch, went to the aquarium, to the market, and finally back on the train. Sure, I could write a whole lot more about my Sunday adventures, but quite frankly, this is a long post and I'm sick of writing.

Blast from the Past: The China Chronicles, Part 1

The following is an installment of a recently rediscovered series of columns written for The Daily Beacon, UT's Student Newspaper, during the summer of 2005.

Columnist returns to China

Guest Editorial -
Monday, June 20, 2005 issue


I have very strict rules for traveling. Well, just one really: Do not pack until the night before departure. This rule has served me very well so far, and I don’ t foresee it changing in the near future. And this includes the biggie: a month in China.

There are two very good reasons for this policy: One, to be a good traveler you must “ go with the flow.” The luggage that you hold will hold you back. The other reason is a cardinal rule of luggage: No matter how many lists you check or how well prepared you think you are, the gods will not allow you to remember everything.

The moment you remember to bring everything you need the gods will lose your luggage in transit out of spite. The best advice I can give you, the reader, is to pack twice the money and half the clothes you think you’ll need. I’ve found that ole’ Ben Franklin can solve most any problem short of incarceration that one may come across. On a side-note, I think jail is a good starting point as to when a good healthy panic is acceptable.

I’d like to give the reader better advice for traveling around this tiny globe, but the best (and only advice) I’ve received so far is from my beloved grandmother. She told me, “Zach, don’t bring back a Chinese girl.”*

While I deeply appreciated her advice, she surely could have dug a tad deeper and come up with some more worthwhile tidbits of knowledge. For example, “ Zach, don’t get the bird flu.” Or, “ Zach, try the Peking Duck.” Really any avian-based advice would have been taken with a great deal of gratitude and would have worked better in that situation, I think. God forbid I meet someone special on the trip.

Oddly enough, this is the exact same advice she gave me before I traveled to China last year.** There must be a deep-seeded fear of Asian women in my family of which I was previously unaware.

I expected some good advice from my grandfather on my dad’s side. After all, he has been to nearly 200 countries*** including China four times and all seven continents. Instead, this is what I got from him, “ Please take me with you… Your grandmother won’t let me eat Chinese food.” Just sad. He then added, “oh, a month of only Chinese food, I’d be in heaven.”

Also, there is zero good advice to be had about jet-lag. None, nada, zero, zip, nothing. To this day I cannot separate the first two or three days of my trip to Beijing in my mind. I look at my journal and think, “Forbidden City on day two? No, no, this has to be wrong.” Some people try sleeping on the flight, others try staying up but in the end it doesn’t matter, your body will throw up its arms in an act of defeat and you’ ll be waking up in strange tour buses wondering how you got there in the first place.

Coming back was even worse, I think I slept for a week straight. Though, in all fairness, coming back into town summed up a three-week drinking binge so my body was definitely in a state of detox.

But I don’ t want the reader to have the wrong idea here, I was there with 20 other UT students and none of us were alcoholics. However, when you put 20 20-something college social drinkers together, the result isn’t pretty.

Let me paint this scenario for you: A couple of friends are going to go out for a night on the town in Beijing or Chengdu or Shanghai. A couple turns into a few and a few turns into a dozen. Then you add dirt cheap (but incredibly smooth) beer plus virtually no responsibilities and you have a recipe for a regrettable amount of drinking. To add insult to injury, there were Australians everywhere, and those people will show you a good time.

Drinking aside, it is a magnificent country. I fell in love with it immediately upon arrival. Despite my severe jet-lag, I still remember stepping off the tour bus at dusk only a few hours after arriving in Beijing and walking through Tiananmen Square. I had seen the sight a million times on TV, usually in a negative context as the world is reminded of the horror that occurred there in 1989, but the sight did not bring memories of oppression.

Instead it brought a sense of awe, of magic, of an incredible and indefinable reality. The red flags were billowing at full mast, the kites were flying high, and I was in China.

I was suddenly a part of this great civilization. The ill-fated student protests and the communist party rallies led by Chairman Mao were never further from my mind than at this moment. Instead I saw China’ s glorious past and its incredible future.

This is why we travel.

I hate to cheese this up too much, but when your perceptions are realigned because of something you’ve traveled many a mile to find, it is magical. I want others to experience what I did if only for a moment.

When we travel, we become connected to the world and usually for the benefit of all involved. I’m not saying that traveling will rid the world of its ills, but you’ll no longer be able to see suffering in a distant corner of the globe without realizing how it affects us all.

The best thing that has ever happened to me is catching the “travel bug,” and I can’t wait to return to the proverbial open road. The world is getting increasingly small, and I hate to break it to those in the self-contained, immortal world of college, but life is getting increasingly short. Often the best reason to “go” is just to say that you have. And you should at least have something to tell the grandkids.

— Zachary Marx is a senior in political science and, like Courtney Cronley, will be sending columns periodically throughout his journey. He can be reached at zmarx@utk.edu.

*Editors note: The same advice was given one year later, prior to King Zach's trip to Japan, only about Japanese girls.

**Notice a theme?

***Mileage may vary.

The Process

Today was one of those days. A true slog: fighting against my rebelling, not-yet-recovered body, dozens of dirty, screaming kids, and clerical and scheduling errors in the curriculum that left me scrambling all day. While I could write a full blog entry on any of the aforementioned struggles, today wasn't about succeeding, it was about surviving. This is all part of The Process.

Tennessee's new head football coach Derek Dooley likes to tout "The Process," and with a 2-4 team, that's about all you can talk about. It's not about fixing your problems right now, it's about the day-to-day improvement that will lay the foundation for a better future. Improvement may not be immediately noticeable, and even less often tangible, but it is there.

Last week, I took two small steps toward that future: 1) paying off a credit card and 2) putting away my first $500 toward grad school. They may have been small steps, but my future is looking that much brighter because of them.

While $500 is a much lower number than what I had originally wanted to deposit, when considering the start-up costs of moving here, getting sick, and paying off old bills, it's not a bad start. I figure by January I should be depositing between $1000-1500 every month. That will be when baby steps become leaps and bounds.

Work. Study Korean. Save money. Repeat. This is my process.

As previously stated, this is not to say my life is without problems, I merely traded one set of problems in Milwaukee --no career, little or no income, no opportunities--for another set--loneliness, self-doubt, and of course, my dog Sydney. But here's the difference between these two sets of issues: all of my new problems are fixable, whereas it seemed the last set had spiraled past the point of no return.

Clearly I'm in a better situation now. It's much better to be low and trending up, than the other way around.

Blast from the Past: Russia (Parts 1 & 2)

Part 1: Originally written May 25, 2006

Hello!

Well, I have survived the journey and am settling into life as a tourist in Russia. The trip was not nearly as painful as my past excursions to China and I have not experienced the same level of jet-lag. However, Russia wasted no time in living up to its reputation as a backward country. As soon as we landed in St. Petersburg the plane came to a full stop, then pulled a u-turn on the runway and began taxiing back up the way we came-it didn't seem safe or necessary, but who am I to judge? It's been quite adventurous so far, we're living in an old soviet-era hotel that makes the places I've stayed in China look like spas and resorts. It's cool though, I love the adventure. It's pretty rough and tumble up here-and a lot of old soviet mentality persists. The group seems to be bonding very well, and we're all having a great time. We have yet to do a lot of exploring, though the parts of the city that I have seen so far have been amazing. We did go to St. Peter and St. Paul's Cathedral along with a mass grave from the World War II siege of St. Petersburg (then Leningrad) that held over 500,000 people. It was just a stunning sight-consider this fact: less Americans died in WWII than the number of nameless people who were buried at this site. Getting away from that rather depressing topic, tomorrow we'll be visiting the Hermitage so I'm really excited about that. Don't worry, pictures will be taken.

Well, I'm about to run out of time at the internet cafe. I hope all is well back home and anywhere else people happen to be receiving this mail. Take care and send love!

From Russia With Love,
-Zach

Part 2: Originally written May 31, 2006

Everyone,

I hope you are all doing fine, as I am happy to report that I am in good health despite the Russian cuisine's best efforts. However, our comrade Rhett has fallen with some sort of bug (my guess is either bird flu or SARS)-he's been in the hospital for 2 days so I want everyone to think good thoughts for him (he's good people, trust me). The doctors can't quite figure out what is wrong with him, but have been pumping him full of anti-biotics anyway. SO, let's recap what I have learned so far:

1. Old Russian women are short, mean and kind of look like yoda.
2. Mullets are viable haircuts in Russia (we've come up with a classification system for them-it's provided hours of fun-there is the classic mulletus mulletus, the vogue mulletus rattailus, mulletus femailous and the super mullet mulletus maximus).
3. I will get charged for being a foreigner at every restaurant I attend. The place where I ate yesterday I was charged for two items I did not order. Normally the conversation would go like this: ME: Um, I didn't order this bread-you just brought it out to me Angry Waitress: Oh, I'll get that taken care of... but here it goes something like this: ME: Um, what are these charges? AW: Bread and Sauce ME: Oh.

Anyway, I'm in Moscow and going through internet withdrawals. Right now I'm in this super-sweet mall that is located underground outside of the Kremlin. I'd have to say that so far St. Petersburg has Moscow beat in every category except the weather. Red Square would have been cool had I not been to Tiananmen Square first (Tiananmen has the power to drop your chin to the ground by its sheer size and grandeur, in comparison Red Square looks like a playground). For anyone so concerned, Lenin is looking pretty good-our tour guide told us they have 100 people working to keep him preserved. Moscow is a pretty happening place, though outside of the Kremlin and Red Square we really haven't found a lot worth exploring. It's been fun, albeit uneventful. On Saturday we fly out to Perm. I guess that's all for now-send love.

Best,
-Zach

The DMZ

I've been raking my brain to try and think of good ways to describe what I saw today. There's really no good way to go about it, but I'll do my best. My trip to the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) was the most unique, terrifying, fascinating, disturbing, sad, and real experience I've had in my travels. So I guess without further ado, I'll give you my thoughts as they happened in my journal:

October 9, 2010

06:28

I'm on my way to the DMZ, or more accurately, on my way to the USO to get on a bus to the DMZ. The cost of the tour is not insignificant, around $75, but ultimately I thought it would be worth it for the completely unique, unparalleled experience. The DMZ is a 4 kilometer (2.5 mile)-wide strip of land meandering across the width of the Korean Peninsula, dividing the country into two. It has become one of the most heavily armed borders on the globe, a result of 57 years of stand-off. Technically, the Korea War never ended, only an armistice was signed, which remains intact up to this very day.

However, an interesting unintended consequence of the DMZ has been a de-facto nature preserve, including many animals that were presumed to be extinct on within Korea.

The forecast called for rain last night and into this morning, but the weather seems to have held out for now, it appears to be shaping up to be a nice day.

07:22

On the bus at the USO. I was slightly worried about not being able to find it, but Americans are anything but subtle. The directions were clear, and a friendly USO sign greeted me. The building is directly adjacent to the Military Base, and it was slightly unnerving having to walk past an armed guard to get here. "Don't mind me, I'm just going on the tour." Though, in light of today's itinerary, I should get used to armed guards.

The sun is just coming up over Seoul, beautiful.

08:27

13 km to Punmunjeom, the town where the JSA--Joint Security Area--is located. It's an eerie sight as no other cars are on the road.

And now we've just reached Check Point 1, no pictures allowed here. We're surrounded on 3 sides by fences and razor wires. Immediately after clearing the check point we roll out onto "Unification Bridge," once again, very creepy. I can't even describe this feeling, it's a weird mix of emotions: sadness, fear, desolation, awe...We just arrived at Camp Bonifas, just south of the JSA.

I can't take pictures right now, which is annoying. The base has a small soccer pitch and baseball diamond on the far side of the base, some flags of the supporting nations, and a water tower that reads:

Joint Security Area
"In Front of them All"

Some American GI just checked my passport, not terribly through about it, it was hardly a glance.

08:59

We're at our briefing within the gates of Camp Bonifas. The JSA is guarded by US, UN, and ROK (Republic of Korea, AKA South Korea) troops in the southern half, and DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea) and Chinese Volunteers in the northern half.

Excellent presentation! Apparently Camp Bonifas is named after an American captain who was killed in the JSA in 1976. For the first 23 years, the JSA was not divided into North and South sectors, and the North Koreans had decided to surround a UN building with three of their own. UN and US troops tried to clear a large poplar tree to increase viability to their surrounded checkpoint and were met by 28 North Koreans, 5 Americans were injured and two killed, brutally, with the use of their own axes.

We also learned about the "Soviet Defector Incident" in 1984, which also led to a brief firefight. The saddest part of the briefing was learning about "The Bridge of No Return" where captured soldiers were forced to choose which side to go to, and never being able to return once their decision was made.

We're doing a brief tour of the base, we just passed "The World's Most Dangerous Golf Course," a one-hole, 192 yard, par 3, surrounded on all sides by mine fields.

09:30

Just officially crossed into the DMZ. Now we're passing Tae Sung Dong or "Freedom Village" one of two towns allowed to exist in the DMZ. Citizens of Tae Sung Dong have a strict midnight curfew, but are highly subsidized farmers. They make over $100,000 a year to far ginseng and rice, and their children are allowed their choice of any South Korean university, paid for by the government. In the distance we can see a glimpse of Kijong Dong or "Propaganda Villiage," the North Korean counterpart to Tae Sung Dong, though it is believed to be unpopulated.

Eye to Eye with the North Koreans

10:09

Just spent about three minutes in North Korea. Inside of the UN conference room you are allowed over the MDL (Military Demarcation Line, the official border between the two countries). It was intense. There were two ROK soldiers in a taekwando stances, ready to pounce. One was guarding the the northern door, protecting us from possible kidnapping by the North Koreans.

We're back on the bus now and overlooking the North Korean countryside. The hills are completely barren, thought they say it's so they can look for defectors. Over the town of Kijong Dong hangs the largest flag in the world, off of one of the largest flag poles. It's 600 pounds dry and one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. I keep looking away and looking back, thinking, "there's no way that ridiculous flag can be there when I look back," and yet, there it is.

10:57

The North Koreans are almost comical in their nefarious actions: the flag business, tunnels under the DMZ, kidnappings, randomly firing off missiles--not really threatening, mostly just immature and annoying. Really? That's the best you can do?

12:12

Cool--just met a South African and two Kiwis, all teachers, of course! The "Third Tunnel of Aggression" was interesting but there wasn't much to see. It is one of several tunnels the North Koreans tried to dig under the DMZ. However, they used the subtle and ancient Korean digging technique, "Blasting through granite with dynamite," so needless to say, they were all quickly discovered once they crossed into South Korean territory. The most interesting part of the tunnel was finding out that the North Korean troops had rubbed the inside of the walls with coal to make it appear as if they were mining. Mining for coal through thick granite, in more or less a straight line to Seoul.

1:30

Our last stop, was, well, the last stop. Literally, the last train stop in South Korea. This was infinitely spooky and sad. It was a beautiful train station, with no trains coming and none departing. Just empty tracks heading north.

So my final thoughts? An incredible experience, and even more amazing when I think about this going on every day, for the last 57 years. And as far as North Korea goes, I've lost even more respect for the regime (and I thought that respect could go no lower).

In summation, North Korea is a little bit:


















...and a whole lot of: