What a Difference a (Couple of) Day(s) Make(s)

On your average Wednesday evening, around 5 o'clock, I would be stuck behind the ever oppressive walls of my school. Thankful, I have this week off, so instead of looking longingly at the window (not out the window, because all the windows are covered), I'm sipping on some cappuccino at a coffee shop, and taking in the views of bustling rush-hour traffic as dusk descends upon Seoul. Quite nice, really.

Something has changed, I noticed it early yesterday afternoon. By all accounts I should have been in a foul mood. My friend, Mickayla, and I had unintentionally pulled an all-nighter on Monday. I say "unintentionally" because we tried to get a cab back from the bar at a somewhat reasonable hour. Instead, the vaunted Seoul Public Transit System let us down, and left us standing in a snowstorm for a half-an-hour before we came to the realization, "Hey, that bar over there is still open!" And so it was that we managed only a few, unfulfilling hours of sleep on Monday night or Tuesday morning, whichever you prefer. The following afternoon we made our way to Itaewon for some Indian curry, a well-known cure for hangovers. Mickayla, perhaps still a little drunk, asked our Indian waiter what makes curry so great for hangovers. His answer, "Very many spices!" Good enough for me.

Maybe it was the curry, maybe it was the diminished hangover, or maybe it was the sun poking its head through the clouds for the first time, but right then I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. What was this feeling? Freedom, perhaps? This was my second day off, and I was already without a care in the world. Mickayla was off to shop, so I popped back into the subway to make my way to Changdeokgung Palace, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which would no doubt be a sight to behold after last night's snow.

Despite missing out on an opportunity to see the "Secret Garden" tour, I was able to wander aimlessly around the Palace grounds and admire its elegance and quiet beauty. I've been to many of these palaces, and while Changdeokgung lacks the grandeur of the Forbidden City or Imperial Palace, in Beijing and Kyoto respectively, it has its own charm.

Most palaces are strictly built on a north-south axis, in an attempt to replicate Heaven on Earth (which is apparently on a north-south axis). However, this palace conforms to no axis of any kind, mostly due to its history. It was never supposed to be the seat of power for the royal family, but when the Japanese burned their main palace to the ground in 1592, Changdeokgung was tapped as a makeshift, and then, a permanent, home. Changdeokgung remained the main palace almost continuously until 1910 when Korea was "annexed" by the aforementioned Japanese. Under occupation, Korea's last emperor, Emperor Sunjong died here in 1926.

I had visited the palace about a month ago, but it didn't hold a candle to this trip. The combination of the low winter's sun, still wind, and fresh snowfall made the palace come alive. I took pictures, best I could, while continually being reminded of my photographic inadequacies by the amateur Korean photographers with very professional gear.

The one drawback to this palace, as opposed to ones I had seen in other Asian countries, was the lack of a truly immersive experience. There were very few vistas within the palace that didn't include skyscrapers and high-rise apartments rising in the background. Seoul is an amazing city, but it could certainly tone it down a notch at times.

I haven't the foggiest idea of how I'm going to spend the rest of this break. I might go down to Busan for New Year's, I might not. I'm due to host my first couchsurfer since arriving in Korea this weekend, so that will be nice. As for job prospects, I'm keeping my eyes open for the next great job, and my mind open to the benefits to my current less-than-great job. And for those concerned about Sydney, we got her tests back and the girl is doing fine: no tumor, no infection.

This will probably be my last post for the year, to bring my total to an even 50 since I started posting at the end of July. Not bad, not bad. So, by the Royal Decree of King Zach I, We hereby wish everyone in the Kingdom the happiest of New Years! Thank you all for your love and support over what was a turbulent, but ultimately successful 2010.

Top 5: Things I Want to Accomplish Before 30

So, y'all might have heard it's my birthday. I have very mixed feelings toward the day. I like its wonderful symmetrical nature: 12/21. It is a cosmically significant day--the winter solstice--the shortest day of the year for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, and the longest night. The bad? The weather is almost always cold and often nasty, and someone else's birthday seems to overshadow mine by many orders of magnitude. Also, the Mayans predicted the world would come to an end on my 30th birthday, so there's that. So, let's pretend for a second that all of the crazies are right and some ancient civilization knew more about our demise than we do, what do I want to accomplish in my last two years on Earth?

The Qualifications:

• Must be within reason. You won't see "Marry Heidi Klum" or "Win the Lottery" on this list.
• Non-career based. These are things that I want to accomplish as a person.

The List:

1. Travel to all 6 inhabited continents: I've been to 4, so I just have South America and Australia to go. 2 continents in 2 years? I really have no excuse with air travel and what-not.
2. Write a Book: Possible title, "Why My 30th Birthday Will Suck More than Yours." Or "I Hope the Mayans Stopped Counting out of Boredom."
3. Learn Korean: Forget the career and academic ramifications, I just want to know what the hell is going on! It also might help when I try to talk to some Korean girls. Which leads me to...
4. Meet a Girl: Just one would suffice.
5. Grab a Beer with the Crew*: That is, my high school crew, Renato and Brian. It would be nice if we could be in the same city, at the same time, between now and then.

*With apologies to Tony. If our crew were the Ghostbusters, he would have been Winston. (I would have been Venkman, Renato, Ray, and Brian would have been Egon.)

Of Doctors and Vets

Following my bitter disappointment on Thursday, I am happy to report that the sun did, in fact, rise. Well, I assume it did, behind the heavy cloud cover and snowfall. At least Sydney was excited about the snowfall. She stared out the window with concentration normally reserved for food. I took a deep breath and...promptly hacked up a lung. Sometimes The Fates won't let you have a breather, literally.

Thankfully, Korea has an excellent healthcare system, so without an appointment, I popped in my doctor's office at 9:05, and was out the door of the pharmacy downstairs by 9:15. Total cost? Under $5. I returned on Saturday for a follow-up appointment, and parted with an additional 3,700 won ($3.20).

However, I was not so fortunate when I took poor Syd to the vet. I first took her to a vet a couple of weeks back because I had noticed a small lump under the base of her tail. The woman who helped me thought it was an issue with her anal glands, which she quickly helped Sydney "express." But the problem persisted, so I took her to another doctor, this one (luckily) spoke a good deal of English and explained that the lump was either "from trauma" or "a tumor." She withdrew three syringes worth of blood, and gave her a few shots. Sydney was pretty good through the procedure. The vet didn't think it was a tumor because of her age, but is sending the blood to be tested anyway. Total cost? $81.

Still, not bad for a visit to the vet, there's no saying what I would have paid back in the States. I'm pretty confident that her "trauma" diagnosis is correct. With the swelling down, I could clearly feel a kink in her tail (or the nub that used to be her tail). I read online that dogs sometimes develop an abscess that must be drained when they break their tails. I looked right at her and said, "See, this is why Aussies aren't allowed to have tails."

Gutted

So, I thought I had been very close to landing a job in Daegu. I had a phone interview on Tuesday that went very well, and another in-person interview lined up for Sunday afternoon. After my contact e-mailed me yesterday with directions, I received another one today titled, "Change of Plans." I knew before I even opened up the e-mail, but I read it anyway:

Thank you so much for the time you have put into the application process and your willingness to interview in Daegu. After careful consideration and review, we have decided to pursue other candidates
that more closely meet our needs. Although your skills and experience appear strong, they are not quite what we need to fill the position.

We appreciate your interest in MoonKkang and we wish you the best of luck in your professional pursuits.

I think that's all you need to know. This feels almost exactly the way I felt after not getting the Nashville Teaching Fellows job. I saw a great job, with great prospects for my future, made it far along the hiring process, but not far enough to matter. It's that horrible, empty feeling that you get when you finish just outside of the money in a poker tournament. Played well, but came up short, and ultimately, have nothing to show for it. And I can't help but think, I'm in the same place as I was before I tried at all. I'm not sure what happened between Wednesday and Thursday, and part of me doesn't care. I know not to take it personally, but it's difficult not to.

Worse yet, I'm stranded at school, with no breaks, nowhere to go and clear my head. That is, other than escaping into my own words, as a writer does. Well, as a writer without a writing gig, anyway. This hurts, and my brain has been swimming with ideas as to my next step. If one thing has become obvious during this foray into the Korean job market, I'm not going to be happy until I find a job that is better suited to my strengths and lifestyle. My current job is not it, so I'll keep plugging away until I find want I need. Well, plugging away after a couple of rounds of scotch tonight.

Top 5: Methods for Time Travel

Who wouldn't want a chance to travel through time? Whether you're revisiting the past, fixing mistakes, or just going to see what it was or will be like, it seems like a great time. Unfortunately, science hasn't quite gotten us to that point, but that simple things like "facts" have never stopped Hollywood from making a buck on our wildest fantasies.

The Qualifications:

• The device must be made in a movie. I'm not interested in your theoretical gadgets, and blah, blah, blah technical words.
• Listed in order from best to worst.

The List:

1. DMC Delorean (from Back to the Future) The Pros: To quote Doc, "The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?" Well said. In addition to its sleek design, you only have to get moving to a relatively modest 88 mph. I'm also fairly certain Huey Lewis and The News was in the tape deck. The Cons: Not very useful unless you happen to have some plutonium sitting around (or an impossibly well-timed lightning bolt). Oh, and you may have to make out with your mother in order to assure your own future existence.
2. Hot Tub (from Hot Tub Time Machine) The Pros: Sure, the tub in question only takes you to one place, a ski lodge in 1986, but could you reasonably ask for a better place to go? Also, this time machine didn't seem too concerned about paradoxes, so feel free to stay behind and build your empire, as the inventor of google, or whatever you end up calling it. The Cons: The only band playing that night was Poison and you have to be the same age you were in 1986. If you haven't been born yet, no problem, but I would be stuck in my 3-year-old body.
3. U.S.S. Enterprise (from Star Trek IV and Star Trek: First Contact) The Pros: You're on a freakin' interstellar spaceship. The Cons: They never seem to time travel just for the hell of it (that's what the holodeck is for). They're always having to fight to save the whales or fight The Borg.
4. Phone Booth (from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure) The Pros: George Carlin. The Cons: Getting stuck with these guys:
5. Time Displacement Bubble (from The Terminator) The Pros: You are no longer trapped in a dystopian hell-scape dominated by cyborgs bent on your demise and forced to masturbate quietly to your one prized possession: an old, beat up photo of a pregnant Sarah Connor. And you inadvertently sire the savior of humanity while actually sleeping with Sarah Connor. The Cons: First off, time travel looks rather painful for us non-cybernetic organisms. When you stop rolling around in agony, you realize you're naked, have no money, and there is still a cyborg bent on your demise (and worse yet, he succeeds).

I would so see this movie:

A Lesson in Education

I read an interesting opinion piece on CNN today, "The U.S. must start learning from Asia." For many years, Asian companies--first in Japan, then Korea, and now China and others--have been accused of "reinventing the wheel" when it comes to exports and manufacturing. Or, to paraphrase Dave Barry, "Japan makes the same products we do, only better." Slowly but surely, Asia has been repeating this same process within the educational field. While it's no secret that Asian students have surpassed their American counterparts in most categories, their institutions are slowly catching up as well.

In education, Asian nations have learned from the U.S., improved upon it to make it more efficient and produce consistently better results, and now, the U.S. must learn from Asia. In essence, the teacher has become the student.

Clearly this is an oversimplification, and furthermore, I do not agree with this assessment completely. The U.S. faces widespread, institutional and cultural issues that Japan, Korea, and China do not. Furthermore, there are still areas in which American students excel. For those of you who read my work on the Japanese educational system from three years ago, you might remember this passage:

At most public schools in America, the societal core values are manifested by giving students the freedom (within a limit) to choose their clothes and lunches. Americans see choice and individuality as core values and this is expressed through the school system. In keeping within the Japanese social paradigm, the Japanese school system is notorious for using an antiquated “teach the test” formula with an extremely low reliance on critical and analytical thinking. Teachers stand in front of the class and pound the facts and the students write down, repeat, and memorize these facts.

My return to an Asian school system has not softened these views, but there are lessons that we can learn and apply to produce better results in the American educational field.

Most importantly, we must change the culture of how education is viewed in America. There are sizable portions of the American public who sees education as a negative. To become educated or go to the best schools is seen as "selling out" in some cases, or "elitist" in others. President Obama has talked about extending the school year; while this might be good for those who stay in school, it does nothing for the nearly one-third of teenagers who drop out of high school before they graduate.

At its core, the "American Dream" of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps necessitates two things: ease of upward mobility, and the ability to outwit or out-maneuver your competition. While education is not 100% vital to either, and there are many examples of high school and college dropouts becoming successful business owners, clearly it is helpful in achieving both goals. As time progresses, and we become further removed from the "real" threats of global fascism or communism, we face a bigger threat--our own complacency.

There is an enthusiasm gap between Americans and Asians (and more importantly, Asian parents). Asian parents understand that education is necessary, not just to pull themselves out of poverty, but to continue to thrive in a continually more complex globalized society. Let's consider my current occupation for a moment. I was hired by a private school, flown to Korea on their dime, to teach Korean kids in English. My afternoon students go to school during the day full-time at a Korean school, then come here for between 6-10 extra classes a week to learn more. Can you imagine a whole array of Korean private schools in America that parents pay thousands of dollars to immerse their kids for 12-20 extra hours of school each week? (or for that matter, any language)? No, I can't either. Yet, here, the parents do not only send their kids to one or two additional private schools per week, it's expected.

I must admit, as impressive as their dedication is, it is probably overkill and I genuinely feel sorry for some of these kids for being overworked. I also strongly disagree with the amount of emphasis put on testing from a very early age. When you study for the test and only the test, it cuts out independent thinking, an area in which American children still score very highly. Regardless, my point isn't so much that an enthusiasm gap exists, but that a massive enthusiasm gap exists.

A co-worker frequently likes to remind me that we are training our replacements. Sadly, this seems to be the case. With America and the West on their current trajectories, and the East on theirs, I wonder when and if it will be practical to return home. I'm enjoying it while I can, as Grandpa Duke likes to say, "The last of the dinosaurs eats well."

Please Fasten Your Seatbelt...

...we are expecting some mild turbulence ahead.

Been awhile since my last real update, so here we go.

Suddenly, job security has become iffy around these parts. In addition to moving to a new school, we're losing at least 100 students (out of about 600). I also got some "insider" information that the school's open house to recruit new students "went really bad." This info came about from a rather intoxicated co-worker who was there that day. Naturally, the preceding statement was, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but..." Two of my coworkers, both near the end of their respective contracts, had their hours and pay cut back to the tune of about $700 a month, in an attempt to save some money.

Well, I'm planning on being here for at least two years, so I'm not going to let my life goals be sidetracked or temporarily derailed by circumstances beyond my control. Inasmuch as I can help it, that is. I figure as long as North Korea keeps their troops and weaponry on the other side of the DMZ (or NLL, Northern Limitation Line), I should be OK, but I have to get out ahead of this and do what's best for me. As the days roll on, I'm doing my best just to work hard and keep up with each and every deadline that I come across, stay off the radar, survive and advance.

In other news, it's December in Korea and even on the other side of the world, I can't escape Christmas. I have at least three good reasons for my general "Bah humbug" philosophy to the holiday:

1. I believe my birthday to be infinitely more important than Jesus's.
2. Natural jealously from being born Jewish. Christmas is pretty much way better than any Jewish holiday, and you are even allowed to eat ham at the meal.
3. I worked in retail for 7 years.
4. And finally, the holiday has gotten out of control. It's a good thing there is a "War on Christmas" because pretty soon Santa will be backing his fat ass back into Labor Day.
   

Hmm, one more reason and I'll have a nifty little "Top 5" list. I'm sure I can think of another reason. That said, I'll be attending Santacon 2011, which is a bar crawl in Seoul, to be completed dressed as, you guessed it, Santa. I figure that getting tanked while dressed as Santa is probably subversive enough to offset my hatred of the big guy.

For any and all interested, I've also begun a new blog: Dooley-isms. It's a good way to continue my Vol-obsession without devoting a whole lot of time to it. For those of you who are unaware, Tennessee's new football coach, Derek Dooley, is more or less a genius. He's good for an average of one or two comedic gems every single time he sits down for a press conference or interview, and this is my attempt to catalog the best of the best. Since starting this blog, several other blogs, and my former college employer, The Daily Beacon, have issued their own versions of Dooley-isms. The interwebs work fast, and while I have no way of knowing whether they were inspired by me directly, it does seem mighty coincidental.

World Cup Bids

This is an elaboration on a rant I started on Facebook:

Bullshit. Russia and Qatar were the least deserving of the tournament for a variety of reasons.

Lets start with the 2018 group:

• England: Invented the game and has the most popular domestic league in the world. They have all the necessary infrastructure ready to go, and a rabid fanbase.
• Spain/Portugal: Both traditional football powerhouses. Spain is also home to one of the best domestic leagues in the world, and who wouldn't want to spend a month in summer on the Iberian Peninsula watching football?
• Netherlands/Belgium: Netherlands is the best nation to have never won a World Cup and has never hosted. To add insult to injury, two of their three runner-ups were essentially road games to Germany in '74 and Argentina in '78. Belgium doesn't really add much to this ticket (in fact, it probably did more harm than good), but they've had a World Cup co-hosted before, so it couldn't have been that problematic.
• Russia: Didn't qualify for this year's World Cup after being eliminated by Slovenia, and lacks pretty much all of the major infrastructure provided in the other three bids. And if you think you're depressed now, just wait until you're in Russia when your team loses.

And 2022:

• USA: Sport has ballooned in popularity since 1994, and would offer FIFA the most ticket sales and return on investment of any country. North America still offers a huge area of growth for the sport, with many Central American and Caribbean nations focused mainly on baseball.
• Australia: No one loves sports like the Aussies, it would have been a great host.
• Korea and Japan: Both probably hosted too recently to really deserve a fair shake, but of all the Asian nations, these are easily the most deserving (and both have no difficulty qualifying).
• Qatar: Has never QUALIFIED for a World Cup (and now gets an automatic bid), smallest nation ever to host, and currently ranked #118 in the world (As a reference North Korea was ranked in the 70s when they were trounced 7-0 by Portugal in this year's tourney). Oh, and it's going to be hot enough to fry an egg on the hood of a car. Allegedly they'll have air conditioned stadiums, but what are you going to do between the hotel and the stadium. You know, besides trying to prevent heat stroke and instantaneous combustion.

...OK, end of rant.

Top 5: UT Memories

Well, the regular season has come to a close for my beloved Volunteers. Needless to say, it was a tough one, but we knew it would be as soon as That Last Guy ditched in the middle of the night (and worse, at the end of recruiting season). Aside from a highly entertaining year, he also provided us with a few good memories, and hey, we're going bowling! Anyway, looking back at my UT fandom, I've decided to write out my favorite memories.

The Qualifications

• Memory must be after I started at UT: I love Peyton Manning as much, if not more, than the next guy, and the 1998 National Championship season was an awesome ride, but my love really begins when I enrolled at UT in 2001.


• Athletic competition: Obviously. I'm not going to bore you with details of how cool my History of Rock class was, or how awesome it was to study dinosaurs for a semester. At least not on this list.

The List

1. LSU at Tennessee, 2001: This was my freshman year of college. I had been living at the dorms for less than three weeks when some crazy bastards decided it would be a good idea to hijack planes and fly them into buildings in New York and Washington D.C. The next game, Florida, was postponed to the end of the regular season. Football would not return for nearly two weeks, and when it did, we had two undefeated, Top 15 teams facing off for a night game at Neyland Stadium. The atmosphere was electric, and more than one person in the stands had tears in their eyes after the "Star Spangled Banner." In addition, it was a tense, hard fought game, with UT ultimate prevailing. LSU would get the best of us later in the season, costing us our last real shot at a national title under Fulmer, and of course, costing us the first of two SEC championships. However, no one can take away that night, it was something else.
2. Bruce Ball Arrives, 2005: There was really no specific game to point to here. When he was first hired, I remember thinking, "Great, another coach from a mid-major school," and boy was I proven wrong. In the fall of 2005, the Vols football team went into the season ranked #3 in the nation, and ended it by completing their first losing season in 17 years. Over winter break, the Vols won on the road, at #7 Texas, which turned some heads, but many of us just saw it as a bit of an anomaly. However, this team just kept winning games, taking the same 5 starters that went 5-11 in conference to a 12-4 record, with two wins over eventual National Champions, Florida. In his first five seasons, Pearl has taken UT to three Sweet 16 appearances, and the school's first Elite 8 appearance last year. You can say whatever you want to about him as a person, but the man can coach.
   
3. Beating Florida, 2001: As previously mentioned, the Florida game, normally scheduled for middle September was postponed to the end of the season. Vol fans had bemoaned for years that this game was far too early in our schedule (as Fulmer's best work usually happened at the end of the season, though this could be as a result of drawing Vandy and Kentucky to end the season), and here was our chance to prove it. Both teams were ranked in the Top 4, and the dorms were going NUTS with every big hit and every big play. We won in Gainesville for the first time in nearly 30 years, and secured a trip to the SEC Championship Game the next week.
   
4. Outback Bowl, 2008: I love bowl games. Unfortunately, my post season record as a fan (when I was in attendance) was 0-4. This game had heightened circumstances, seeing as a significant portion of my family, both parents included, had attended The University of Wisconsin, our opponent. As a birthday present, my dad bought tickets for my friend and I to go. As his own practical joke, he must have thought it funny to get tickets in the middle of the UW section. All the same, me and my buddy Rhett cheered and sang "Rocky Top" as loudly as possible. We won, and I had the family bragging rights.
   
5. 6-6, 2010: I always hate it when a list puts a recent event really high. Well, I guess sometimes I have to make an exception. Last weekend, Tennessee continued their 26-game winning streak over Kentucky to become bowl eligible. This is a small miracle considering we were 2-6 a month ago. Now I can officially say that I'm looking forward to seeing what Coach Dooley can do. Our freshman QB, Tyler Bray, has blown us away with his ability, and I think this team could be a threat to compete for the SEC in a couple of years. It's nice to be trending up!