Friday, July 30, 2010

The Constitution of the Kingdom of Zachland

Preamble

We the people of the Royal Kingdom of the People's Democratic Republic of Zachland, in order to create a more perfect onion, establish justice (ish), insure domestic tranquility (by running away from any possible conflict), provide for the common defense (see: previous statement), promote the general welfare (of King Zach I), and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves (mostly King Zach I) and our posterity (that we know of), do ordain and establish this Constitution to be subverted at any and all possible inconveniences.

Article 1
All power shall be granted to King Zach I. It's good to be the king.

Article 2
Pet Peeves: The following items shall henceforth be banned from Zachland and punished by death: iced tea (especially unsweetened), Bon Jovi, mushrooms, unflattering pictures and/or remarks about King Zach I, patchouli, dreadlocks on white people, inaccurate clocks, and any and all DVD/Music/Book collection not alphabetized.

Article 3
The Royal Pooch, Sydney A. Roo Marx, shall receive love and admiration on a level even exceeding the King Himself.

Article 4
Any princess with desires of courting His Majesty, King Zach I, must pass all standards set forth by His friends, family, and dog. Failure to comply will result in a quick termination of said courtship.